Dreams

I had amazing fantastical dreams last night which really surprised me because I was kind of in a funk before I went to bed. I dreamt that I was in San Francisco riding my bike through the city. It was a beautiful warm day. There were lots of beautiful flowers (more flowers than usual) in bloom. I got lost but didn't care and ended up taking my bike on this sky tram to the top of Nob Hill. At the top of Nob Hill I laid out in a court yard in the sun with old friends and talked and laughed. The courtyard looked amazing. I knew I was on Nob Hill but it was different than how it usually looks.

Last night I went out with the boys from work. We got pretty fucked up. We went to several different bars. We took shots. I went home early to pass out since I had to work today. I put my head on his shoulder. He of course chased a myriad of different women all evening. I wanted to tell him that I want to be one of his many, many "lady friends." I wanted to tell him that I don't need to be the only one, but I couldn't. I realized that I always chase the wrong people. The more unavailable the more I like them. I feel stupid. I feel stupid for being cheap and easy. I am not going to be that girl anymore.