I am trying desperately to stay positive and to not fall into a state of panic or despair. Being forced to leave one's imprisonment seems backwards. The plan was for me to flee freely when the time was right. I sense that it is a blessing in disguise though. I sense that things will work out the way they are supposed to. I want to trust my intuition but my mind creeps in and says "hey dipshit why did you go and get yourself fired?" This experience has been humbleing no doubt. Is humbleing a word?
I am taking things one day at a time. Today I spent about 4-5 hours in the morning researching and applying to jobs. I sat on the couch and ate a large portion of the scallop potatoes I made the night before. I could feel the black moods creeping in. In the afternoon I rode my bike to yoga. It was warm outside, and the sun was shinning. After yoga I felt 100% better. Currently I am just exhausted, emotionally, physically. At one point in the evening I turned on NPR and they were talking about the economy of course. I got freaked out and turned the shit off.
Tomorrow at 12:00 I am going in to meet with a temp agency.
I am going to try and meditate now before bed.
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